Posterous theme by Cory Watilo

1/4/13*

*indicates that I messed up the date of yesterday's post. Oops.

Its nearly midnight. It has been a long day, and I have much to recount for. I'll start with last night.

After my post yesterday, I went on to look at the Study Abroad program offered by Rutgers. I found more promising information than I had remembered when I first looked at it a few months ago, I guess I just looked deeper.

Anyway, in those very minutes that I spent browsing through Rutgers pages, something incredible happend--I had a revelation:

I don't want to study biology.

...At least not yet.

You see, I love Biology, and I'm good at it. However, my next steps would involve taking calculus, physics, and organic chemistry classes that I truly do not feel qualified to take yet. Ultimately, I wish to understand them all, but I do not see my self comprehending them as I should if I were to take them in the upcoming year.

Something last night led me to check out the Philosophy currciculum offered at Rutgers, and I was totally enamored. Suddenly everything clicked: I need to study philosophy.

It is difficult for me to explain why without establishing some context, so I'll try to keep it simple.

My experience at SCCC has been one characterized by trial and error. I signed up on a whim. I dropped a few classes during my first two semesters. I procrastinated and generally underperformed. I was quite self-absorbed until this past semester. 

And then, everything changed.

I got involved. I applied myself. I met many new people. I became confident in an open way. I helped others, and I loved it.

I also took a class that truly challenged me. It was an online Western Civilizations course, and it forced me to embrace a subject that I truly had no desire to learn because of some childish prejudices towards it.

This was groundbreaking. Because i had established a goal (attaining my A.S.), I became obligated to follow through with it.

I knew nothing about history. I read every page of my textbook and I highlighted half of the material. It was awful!

...but it opened me up to something I was previously unaware of.

Now, don't ask me about history; I still know very little. But I was enlightened to a series of causal events that shaped our history as well as the cultures and objectives responsible. This was a big deal, as I had previously relegated history to being of little consequence to the scientific developments of the future.

And that may even be so. But life is not science. Life is culture, experience, and learning. My irrational little world was so ignorant, and not blissfully so.

Most importantly, this is where I learned the most about the Ancient Greeks. Once more, I've only scratched the surface, but I am entirely enthralled. Whether I knew it or not, I began to accumulate historical and philosophical literature for leisurely reading. I incorporated history into my conversations. I even opened myself to speaking about religion, which is truly substantial, as I have held biases against religion for years.

The fact of the matter is this: I've been naive and foolish for the majority of my life. I've clinged to senseless opinions for far too long, and I now realized it has truly crippled my potential over the years. I am now proud to say that this is no more.

The culmination of events over the last few months has truly awoken a new sense of wonder in me, and it is feverish. I see so much more beauty in every experience; it is as though I've metamorphosized. 

Anyway, I see no other viable route than to cultivate my untrained mental faculties in the manner that produced history's greatest thinkers: philosophy.  

There is much for me to say about the study of philosophy, but I will simply state now that I view it as "an intellectual rite of passage." I believe that philosophy will bestow in me the values necessary to establish my rightful place in the world. I see so clearly the path that lie before me, yet it is so indefinite. Still, there is no other option in my mind. 

I'm going to Rutgers.

My Most Meaningful Encounter...

...was spending a few hours with Tim and Taylor. These are two of my favorite people. They came over around 9:30pm, I made them coffee and we talked and talked, as we always do. Tim is my intellectual friend. We haven't really conversed in months. I told him about my plans, about Cami (he was thrilled about her family history), about everything. I can now keep up with him in conversation. I have stories to tell! And I did profusely. 

We always make such remarkable connections. I told him that I envision him as Dean Moriarty and I as Sal Paradise, and he was flattered. 

There was so much more to my day that I didn't mention. I changed Cait's oil. I went to Bob's and had nothing to do. I trained. I spoke with a woman from the bank while I was at my Dad's office; she gave me a beer glass that says "Lakeland" on it. I paid off a chiropractor that I had seen months back. He kept me for nearly an hour telling stories. Damn, he's got stories. He still likes me even though I don't want to pay for his service anymore. 

Each day is so beautiful.